Only With Your Heart - Only With Your Heart SS13

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Counting the Night of the Blazing Flame (13)

Lukrov grabbed Chizuru by the sides and lifted her out of the bathtub. He wrapped her body in the towel he had prepared beside her and then carefully wiped her body.

It had been a while since she had taken such a warm bath, and she was exhausted from the climax she had been given and the aphrodisiac, so she surrounded herself in silence to Lukrov as he worked on drying her body.

Chizuru didn’t have the energy to start a conversation, and Lukrov didn’t say anything for a while.

He just wiped her skin, brushed her hair, and dressed her.

It was then that Chizuru finally realized that the morning sun was already shining through the window. The dawn had broken after this long, difficult night. 

Her thoughts were scattered in the silence.

Embarrassment at what she had done. Worries about why she couldn’t have children yet. And most of all, her endless love for the man in front of her.

The future with him…

Chizuru, who had already been dressed in her usual dress, bit her lip and clasped her hand tightly. She felt her heart ache as he gently dried off her hair. 

“Perhaps the reason we couldn’t have babies is because I came from another world.”

Lukrov stopped his hand.

She felt his body stiffen instantly. She wondered if she had said something wrong, but she couldn’t take it back now, so she made further remarks.

“We look the same, but maybe there’s something different about us that makes it difficult for us to have children…… Because we’ve been sleeping together every night.”

“Chizuru, stop.”

A low, uneasy voice stopped Chizuru.

She could feel the atmosphere around them become tense and pressing. Lukrov’s hands, which had been working on drying her hair, were now lifting her face upwards to face him.

“Even so, I can’t return you to your world. No matter what the reason, no matter the cost.”

‘Ah….’

Chizuru felt ashamed of herself for being so careless. She realized what she had said and understood how terrified Lukrov must have felt about it.

‘I want to have a child.’

‘But I may not be able to have one with you.’

‘I’m from another world.’

What might’ve followed that line was, ‘Let me go back to my world.’ This was the reason why he looked afraid and tense. 　

‘It’s not possible.’

‘However, depending on how you interpret it, it could be taken that way.’

When she gently touched Lukrov’s hand, which was cupping her face, she felt his strong arm tremble faintly. 

Chizuru closed her eyelids and gently leaned her cheek against his, cherishing her thoughts.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m definitely not going anywhere. It’s just that I’m sad that I might not be able to give Lukrov a baby.”

Lukrov hugged Chizuru tightly to his chest.

His scent was that of a wild man, a mixture of sweat and grass.

“It’s not necessarily because of you. I’ve always done things that God will never forgive me for. I killed men who had families, regardless of whether they were fighting or not. Many times…”

─ What for?

That’s what Chizuru didn’t ask. And Lukrov didn’t say. So, was Lukrov trying to imply that this might be divine punishment?

Maybe it was.

It’s not possible, but even if it was, Chizuru wanted to accept him wholeheartedly.

“Are you okay with that, Lukrov?”

“About what?”

“Even if we can’t have children.”

His grip on her tightened even more.

“If you’re okay with that, I’m fine with it too. I can have you all to myself until the day I die.”

She let out a sad giggle.

“Me, too, if that’s alright with Lukrov. As long as you don’t have to worry about the castle not having an heir or anything like that.”

Of course, she didn’t want to have children for the purpose of making an heir to the castle, but this world was still in that era, and Lukrov had his territory, and he devoted extraordinary efforts to its reign.

“I care less about the castle! I’ve never been obsessed with territories or titles for myself. I just want nothing more than to give you a safe place to sleep and a prosperous life without any inconvenience.”

Chizuru, who opened her eyes gently, saw a sad but sincere smile on Lukrov’s face.

“Yes…”

Chizuru nodded tearfully.

‘I’m sure there’s no need to repeat this conversation again.’

One day, a miracle might happen, and the two of them would be blessed with the fruit of their love, or maybe that day would never come.

Nevertheless, the two of them would live together like this, loving each other and doing the best they could every day

Thus, the blazing hot nights ended for the time being.

That was enough.

That alone made her so happy to the point that she couldn’t bear it any longer.

***

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