How To End a Crush - Chapter 49.1

This can’t be. I have to immediately let this person know of my feelings. I think I’ll shrivel up and die if I wait any longer. 

Destiny? That could fly off to the moon. He liked me. And since it would be my second time confessing, it had to be better this time, no? ^[1]

It had only been an hour since I made that decision.

“Sigh……”

I sighed as I held the red book. Before this, I had pushed it into some deep crevice in my bag because I didn’t want to see it. But now I had taken it out again and was reading it.

That damned prophecy. As always, this book was still holding me back. Why? Why? Why me, of all people?

A blasphemous thought about the goddess crept into my mind.

I truly felt sorry for myself. Honestly, it wasn’t like my love was some grand love story that stood the test of time and was talked about for generations. It was just a cliche little crush that everyone had at least once. So how was I expected to win against a destiny that had been prophesied?

My blanket of silent suffering was now creased, coiling tightly around me like a rope. ^[2]

Yes, just suffering in silence like this will not solve anything.

After moaning and groaning while holding the red book, I finally flung the book away and went to find someone who could give me appropriate advice.

“Sunbae!”

When I slammed open the classroom door, Gloria sunbae who had been sitting, jumped in surprise, her platinum hair fluttering in the air.

“Oh my gosh!”

She placed a hand on her heart as if she had been scared out of her wits. Then she shook her head when she saw it was me.

“What problem has got you in such a hurry?”

I took a deep breath before speaking.

“I am going to confess to Noah sunbae again.”

“Ah, okay…… wait, what?” Gloria sunbae asked in a daze. Her blue eyes shook as she seemed not to have understood what was happening. I calmly repeated myself.

“I am going to confess to him.”

“……but you said he rejected you.”

“Yes, which is why I’m trying again.”

“Uh…… is that so?” she said, laughing awkwardly.

“Then why have you come to see me?”

The atmosphere suddenly became solemn. Up until a moment ago, I had been all gung-ho about confessing. But at the same time, I was also wondering what in the world I was doing, which was inevitable. It was because the anxiety that book gave me still existed in one corner of my mind. I gathered my skirt, sat down and mumbled.

“……I am now wondering if I am even allowed to desire Noah sunbae. Those two are fated afterall.”

“Hmm…… I am not sure about that,” Gloria sunbae said, scratching her nose with a bewildered face.

“So you are asking me to give you some courage?”

I mumbled my reply, with my head on the desk.

“Yes. Please give me some reassurance.”

“I see.”

In the next moment, her face turned serious again as she patted my shoulder.

“The Book of Prophecy was also used to predict and prevent coming disasters. It means that destiny can change, Kate.”

I had been burying my head in my hair when she spoke. Her words stopped my breath for a moment.

That was true, but how was I supposed to come between them? Flora sunbae had known Noah sunbae for much longer than I had. No, how exactly do we know that destiny had changed?

“That is true, but there weren’t any real variables that could have changed destiny.”

It’s not like I’m some great person like the prophets in seers of the olden days. 

I refuted Gloria sunbae’s words, feeling a sudden onslaught of anxiety. Gloria sunbae raised her eyebrows.

“What do you mean there were no variables? There were several.”

“Then what were they?”

In answer to my question, she confidently pointed at her chest.

“Me.”

You can’t be joking right now, surely. 

I looked at her, confused, while she continued.

“Think about it. Isn’t the current Noah much softer than his character in that book. He’s gentler.”

“Uh……”

I tried to recall the contents of the book. While the present Noah sunbae was certainly introverted, the Noah sunbae in the book was extremely cold. In the book, sunbae had not an iota of interest in me, and was completely focused on Flora sunbae alone. I think that was why I’d felt a sense of disjunction while reading the book.

“All of that is because I made him human. Do you know how rude he was as a kid?” Gloria sunbae bragged, shrugging her shoulders.

Could that be it? Could she have messed with the described events of the book, thus changing destiny?

I looked at her with desperation clearly written on my face.

“……Really?”

“Of course. Things had already been twisted out of shape ages ago.”

My heart leapt with joy when I received a positive answer from sunbae.

Happy. I was so happy. In fact, I had been wondering whether I would be able to give up Noah sunbae if I received a negative response, or if I’d been told that Noah sunbae and I could never be.

So, so happy!!

Notes: 

[1] …fly off to the moon: 꺼지라 그래; basically she is saying destiny can go f*** itself. But Kate is too nice to say that. I looked through reddit and quora for a more… polite way of saying this, but this was the best I could come up with.

[2] Last chapter, Kate talked about covering herself with a blanket and suffering under it.

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