I'll Just Be Friends With My Ex-Husband - Chapter 1
“Handsome, upright, and righteous man.”
In fairy tales, people say that such a man is a prince or a unicorn.
But they won’t know how hard it is to live as the unicorn’s wife.
Unicorns should just keep to fantasies.
On the day I returned to my past self, I made up my mind.
I will never marry the male friend who will become my husband!
* * *
Eight years old.
This age was an age where one could correct a lot of things. Of course, you could only change them if you knew the future beforehand.
He was a man who lacked nothing.
Born as the eldest son of a craftsman, he was smart, had a good personality, and possessed a perfect appearance. There was a reason why people nominated him as the number one groom.
I was one of the people who thought the same.
Gerald was a good friend, and he was handsome and thoughtful inside. He listened to my concerns well and provided excellent advice. In addition, he stood by me whenever I was struggling and sick.
It only took a moment for me to fall for him, who was friendly, handsome, and calm.
I thought he loved me.
But it was just an illusion.
He didn’t love me, and he just showed his courtesy to me, who became his wife by default.
I was alone throughout my marriage with him.
He was kind to everyone and treated them as good friends.
Gerald was special to me because he was my first.
He had been an equal and thoughtful friend to me throughout my marriage.
Yes, a friend.
But who married a friend?
He might be either gay or an eunuch.
I think it would be better for me to put more weight on the latter.
He had never slept with me during our eight-year marriage, not even when I announced my divorce! That confirmed that he was a unicorn.
He only needed air to live and survive! That’s it!
It was all because of him that I suffered!
On my eighth birthday, I received a proposal from Duke Logan.
I couldn’t sleep at the thought of being engaged to a handsome man like him. And because I was young and naive, I tossed and turned all night and couldn’t even sleep well. I even fell asleep hugging the proposal letter.
Everyone around my age envied me.
The aristocrats’ children were supposed to decide who would be their husband at this age, so it was natural for the others to envy me, who had the best nominee as my fiance.
But they wouldn’t have known either. I didn’t think I would fight such a fiery battle for eight years after getting married.
I stood in front of the fireplace with an invitation in my hand.
My mom called me with a surprised face. She thought that I’d be happy to see the proposal. She thought that I only heard stories about him, and seeing it would make me jump in joy.
But not anymore.
I threw the proposal into the fireplace.
“Mom and dad. I don’t like Gerald! I’d rather live with my older brother forever than get engaged with him!”
My brother and I were enemies who fought whenever we met.
Where I stepped on his feet, he pulled my hair.
Perhaps, it might have been because the two of us were only two years apart. We ignored our mother’s words and fought like no other. I said I would live with my family forever. It was something that my Mom and Dad gasped in surprise.
“Hey, ugly. Are you crazy? Why would I stay with you for the rest of my life? Oh my god!”
My older brother, spitting out unpleasant words at me, kicked me.
I boldly cut off the relationship between Gerald and me on my 8th birthday.
You’re out now!
* * *
He made me realize that if you felt too miserable, you might want to die.
Others thought we were a good couple. Gerald didn’t look at other women and didn’t even talk to them.
But I had a niggling thought in my mind. Gerald might have unknowingly engaged with someone else for eight years. It would be easy for him to set up another house and hide his woman there.
Of course, I had to go through that process and see if my suspicion was true.
Therefore, I asked my mom to have someone tail him secretly.
“Lulu, this is strange. Gerald wouldn’t like it if he knew.”
My mom didn’t want to do it, but she listened to my request. My mother was upset, but she listened to me because I thought he was worthless and only cared about himself. Anyway, I stubbornly hired men to stalk him . . .
If he had the guts for cheating on me, I was going to let him go clean.
But, of course, I would have to kick him in his balls before that.
Just the thought of him cheating seemed to make me feel nauseous, and it hurt my pride severely. I realized that I would break up with him anytime soon, so I thought it wouldn’t be wrong that he was cheating on me.
If he were cheating, I’d be able to abandon him and ultimately make a fresh start.
I comforted myself like that.
I practically had someone tail him. And this was what he reported.
Sometimes the banquet hall.
Meeting friends at other times.
I heard no aristocrat could eliminate all traces of where he went. Even for him, who served instead of the prime minister, there was nothing to be shaken by the wind. There weren’t any traces left to see.
There was no proof that he was meeting someone else!
Once again, I was able to realize his honesty and integrity.
It was something evident in him.
He only met some people. There were only a few people who were related to him and knew him on a personal level.
Of course, there was no way to identify in any relationship.
In addition, I always accompanied him to the banquet hall and my friends’ meetings.
This is . . . well.
It’s not fun, and it’s not something enjoyable at all! It was as if I ate food with no seasoning!
How should I express this? It’s like meatball spaghetti without meatballs.
I couldn’t find any flaws in him! How can I even see any reason to hate him even more?
So next, I decided to explore things I could make reasons to make our marriage work.
I became curious about him, who has treated me like a friend for all his life even though he had been my husband for eight years.
I hired a doctor.
Using the medical examination as an excuse, I secretly paid the doctor with a lot of money.
“I want to know my husband’s ability as a man.”
I still remember the face of the doctor who smiled happily at me when I said those words, with my face burning in red.
“My specialty is this.”
What’s your specialty?
“Wives often visit me. I have to tell you that you have to eat this medicine twice.’
What the hell?
“This is a mysterious medicine that makes manhood stand up quickly . . .”
If this medicine didn’t work, this would be a scam.
Once I went for a medical checkup, I decided to buy medicine from the doctor.
If you guys were to ask me if my body was desirable to my husband?
Of course, it was! In fact, before returning to the past, I was a very healthy 30-year-old woman.
But it was my heart that made me more nervous than that. If Gerald couldn’t love me forever even though this man swore eternal love, then it would be better to let him go.
I didn’t want to waste my whole life next to him.
I wanted to try warm, passionate love for the rest of my life.
It was like that but he couldn’t even give that to me.
The doctor told me with a proud face.
“As a wife, you don’t have to worry at all! Everything is perfect. He’s perfectly healthy!’
What did the doctor say? That was impossible! For me, he was far from being a healthy man!
Anyway, I bought the “mysterious medicine” because I didn’t fully trust the doctor. And I kept putting it in the food he ate . . .
It was clear that the doctor sold me fake medicine.
My teeth were grinding in despair.
He didn’t react at all!
Imagine how devastating it was for me! The man, who had already swung his sword day and night, has now begun swinging it even at dawn!
He was healthy to the point that it was sickening!
I realized that I became hopeless the more methods I chose to take, and I thought it was right for me to make the final decision finally.
I informed him of my divorce, but I suddenly became eight years old.
Is it engagement or marriage?
It was natural that I didn’t want to have a relationship with him again. This was an opportunity God gave me.
To escape from the unicorn named Gerald! I wanted to meet a man who would love me passionately this time!
Even though I expressed my intention several times not to get engaged after turning eight, my parents took my words as a joke— not even when I burned the proposal right in front of their faces!
This rebellion of mine has already lasted for three days. And that means there is only one thing left to do.
I will do anything to break this engagement.
I could feel my parents’ bewildered faces when they saw me struggling with tears and a runny nose.
My mother gently comforted me with a smile.
“Lulu, didn’t you like Zeze? You said that you liked him best!”
That’s already an old story! A lot of things have already changed! Mom! Haven’t you already realized that my marriage with him is as bland as an unsalted Aglio Oglio?
T/N: I’m an MTL translator, but I will do my best to bring you quality translations. If you see any errors, please let me know and I’ll fix it. ^^
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