I Will Return My New Brother - Chapter 220

When I rubbed my face, Bertin shook his head weakly.

“Blame those who tricked you.”

“Like you?”

His mouth quietly closed at my question.

The embarrassment that was hidden behind a faint smile came to mind.

Maybe the others took my share because I couldn’t trust them.

Foolishly, I didn’t even know I was protected by them, so all the things I thought were frustrating became sharp thorns and stuck in me.

“Marianne.”

“I kind of hate myself.”

It was a truth revealed due to my frustration.

As I took my gaze away from the outside and looked back at Bertin, he was wary of me like a child who was scolded.

Only after a long time did he open his mouth again.

“I don’t know what to do when you express such a thing.”

“. . .”

“If I do something wrong, it is more comfortable to be hit or punished in accordance with my wrongs. Why do you keep blaming yourself when we are the ones at fault?”

I thought he would be carefree as he always was.

Seeing him rambling, I understood the words, ‘I put off homework.’

It must be difficult to tell me directly, and he must have worried about what would happen after I did know.

This guy, who was in panic not knowing how to explain himself in front of me, finally looked like a boy his age.

“It won’t relieve your feelings, but you can hit me.”

I flinched at the sudden words and examined his face.

Those tightly closed lips and determined eyes.

He’s being serious, isn’t he?

“Why would I hit you?”

And more than that, why did you think of being hit?

“Because I think it’ll be more comfortable. When you make such a face . . . It’s far harder to see than I thought.”

“Even so, how could you ask me to hit you?”

Was it a problem that whenever he fought with Rany I overlooked it as a light fight between friends?

I felt flustered looking at Bertin, who said he would rather be hit because he was feeling guilty or uncomfortable.

Bertin, who saw my eyes, shook his head after letting out a light exclamation.

“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that I like to be hit, but that’s more comfortable for my heart.”

“That’s a problem too.”

You shouldn’t solve a problem by being beaten whenever you make a mistake.

As if he realized our conversion had flowed into nonsense, Bertin calmly changed the topic again.

“Anyway, we didn’t mean to make you resent yourself for not telling you what we guessed in advance. We were only worried you’d be hurt.”

“That means, you’d never tell me if I didn’t figure it out.”

I remembered Zen, who was sad from losing his family.

He had nightmares every night, and even though he pushed me out, there were a lot of days he couldn’t sleep alone.

His world, everything he grew up with, disappeared overnight.

“Why did you and him care about my feelings amidst that? We lived for that till this day, so how could you think of covering it now . . .”

As I calmed down, it felt bitter in a corner of my heart.

I didn’t cry, but as if someone had clawed at me, it stung inside.

“You know what? I was glad that I was a good daughter to my mom.”

Dancing, singing, and attracting people’s gazes in the colorful parties.

I thought she only liked to live for the people’s gazes.

I thought that meeting someone easily, falling in love, and leaving without regret was because her personality was neat, tidy, and firm.

“In those moments, I thought she was really happy, and enjoyed her life. So I always felt glad. I was really happy because Mom looked happy.”

“. . .”

“But all of that was a lie.”

It was more shocking than being tricked.

It hurt far more.

Bertin, who was looking at me, shook his head slowly.

“Well, I think the Duchess should be the one to apologize.”

“About what?”

“You were born into this world because she wanted you. Thus, it isn’t your fault that you’re involved in many situations. Yet, eventually, the responsibility for this complicated situation was shared with you.”

It was the moment I opened my mouth to say something back.

The carriage rattled.

I heard the sound of the coachman clicking his tongue.

The carriage quickly slowed down and stopped.

“I’m sorry, but it seems that there is a problem with the wheel. I think I’ll have to repair it in a village.”

He put on his hat and handed us rugged hoods.

“I will repair it as quickly as possible, so I think it’ll be good for both of you to quench your thirst.”

A dark hood was pulled over of me, who was hesitating when we were told that we had to get out of the carriage.

Bertin, who wrapped the hood around me tightly so that not even a strand of hair came out, took the lead. After getting out, he extended his hand.

We entered a small eatery while shrinking like criminals.

“Did you hear about the monsters that appeared in the capital?”

Bertin casually pulled me to an empty seat.

While ordering something to drink, I listened carefully.

“It seems like the casualties are quite serious.”

“I really have no idea how the monsters entered the capital. Surprisingly, the territories of the border are quiet.”

“There is strange talk.”

“Huh?”

“It seems like some people disappeared in that chaotic situation.”

The voice gradually turned low.

It was hard to hear it clearly because of the surrounding noises, but the last words were clearly heard in my ears.

“. . . and Lady Duchess. So . . . that’s what I heard.”

The House of Hastings hadn’t participated, and the position of Duchess of Bolton was empty.

Therefore, there was only one Duchess participating in the banquet.

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