Only With Your Heart - Only With Your Heart SS30

But I Still Love You

Of course, there was no way he could finish the three-day journey in one go.

Especially with Chizuru in his arms, Lukrov couldn’t push her too hard.

As before, Chizuru was not very good at maintaining her balance on the horse. If he didn’t hold her tightly, she would slip and fall.

While trying to convince himself that this was an elaborate illusion, he spurred his horse to cut through the forest, which was now falling into darkness. When the time had come where he ought to have stopped, he was unable to do so immediately because he wanted to savour the warmth of Chizuru in his arms for even a moment longer.

However, as the sun went down completely, that was no longer possible.

“Are we going to stop …… here?”

It was a simple question, but for Lukrov, it was like a question of life and death.

If he stopped.

If he got off.

Then this illusion might disappear – leaving Lukrov alone in the deserted dark forest, thrown back into that endless void, as he had been doing for the past 14 years. So he didn’t answer.

He gave a slight apologetic nod and dismounted, leaving Chizuru in the saddle. Lukrov closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to prepare himself.

Surely this would end the dream.

He wished he could have been nicer to her, even though it was an illusion. However, it was not wise to dwell too much on what was left behind….. Even a battle against thousands of enemies never required this much determination.

But when Lukrov opened his eyes, Chizuru was still on the horse, looking down at Lukrov with a slight tilt of her head.

Why……?

Lukrov helped Chizuru dismount since she was unskilled at dismounting, almost as bad as riding. Even after fourteen years, if that were still the case, this Chizuru would finally become an incomprehensible existence.

‘Even though she is an illusion, she does not disappear.’

‘But if she is real, then she hasn’t aged a bit.’

‘What the hell is going on?’

“Oh, thank you.”

Lukrov couldn’t answer. What was he supposed to say?

His hands were burning hot when he touched her; he could feel it even through his gloves. His body was honest, and his dormant male instincts once again ignited. Blood gathered in his lower abdomen, and he cried out greedily for possession of the woman in front of him.

─How foolish.

This was not real, and she was nothing but a hallucination. This was…

He listened, somewhat stunned, to Chizuru’s explanation as they sat across from each other around the fire that Lukrov had lit.

Chizuru had returned to her original world.

Her grandmother, the only living relative she had, was in critical condition.

But in her world, only a year and two months had passed, which meant that Chizuru was not even 20 years old yet.

And she had never forgotten about Lukrov; when she was allowed to return, she did not hesitate to come back here…

There was no way to describe what was going through his mind at that moment. He was tormented by a whirlwind of emotions, like a raging storm.

Irritation. Anger. Jealousy. Joy.

All of them were rising and raging inside him like a monster.

Especially the images of Zain and Edina, who had lost their lives for the sake of Lukrov’s greed, pierced through his soul.

He wanted to hug Chizuru honestly. He wanted to say, “I’ve been looking for you” or “I’m glad to see you”. However, he took off his helmet at Chizuru’s urging and slowly opened his mouth.

He did not know what he was going to throw at her.

“Why now?”

“What?”

“Why are you coming back now? Why are you coming back now, after abandoning people for more than fourteen years?”

Chizuru looked as if her heart had been shot with an arrow.

That was not the way he intended it to happen. It had been fourteen years, fourteen years! He had dreamed of this moment and had dragged his corpse-like body to live for this moment.

He wanted to be kind to her.

He wanted to see her smile. He wished to laugh too. But…….

That night, Lukrov held Chizuru like a beast; perhaps, this was the only way he could calm his raging heart.

The soft skin that seemed to glide against his hand was precise as he remembered it, and he knew how she would react when he stimulated her, his soul remembered everything.

“Uhh! Ahh……! Luk… Lukrov…!”

He continued to caress her relentlessly as if he were cornering her melting body.

Although he had laid out a blanket, Chizuru’s back was pressed against the ground.

When she was wet enough, he slipped between her dripping thighs and buried his rock-hard rod in her.

At this point, Chizuru had told him that she loved him.

But he didn’t respond to that.

He penetrated Chizuru’s deepest parts.

As she arched her back in spasms, he repeatedly plunged his shaft into her. Harder, faster, and deeper. Chizuru’s fragile frame shuddered as a small plea for mercy escaped her lips.

Lukrov’s intense heat must have been too much for the small, delicate woman.

He had almost made her break.

But not once did she tell him to stop.

“Haa…… ah, please… I’m already….”

As he reached his first climax, Lukrov came to the realization that maybe this was real. Chizuru was here. In his arms. Chizuru trembled with the intensity of what he was giving her and whispered his name with her tiny pink lips.

It was heaven.

And yet, it was also a punishment.

This love was too painful.

How in the world could he ever be happy again? How could he fight the fear that he might lose her once again? How could he make her happy …… with this damaged heart?

There was no answer to that, and Lukrov continued to seek Chizuru. Only when Chizuru, exhausted, had fallen asleep, did Lukrov slowly stroke her cheek, illuminated by the flames of the fire and murmur.

“Even now, I still love you.”

‘Thank you for coming back.’

‘I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.’

‘From now on, I’ll never let you go again.’

The cold night sky silently swallowed these words. 

Maybe when he woke up tomorrow, everything would disappear. That was what scared him the most.

But Chizuru’s sleeping face was so lovely, and the night was so quiet that Lukrov lay down next to her and closed his eyes.

Tomorrow morning, he might have to fight the nightmare again.

Whether Chizuru would still be there next to him or whether she would disappear was yet to be seen.

***
Happy New Year!!

Been trying to post in the past few days, but I’m sure you know how it gets after new year lmao!!

anyways! Next chapter is the last one.. for real.. thank you for sticking along all this time! would love to hear from you guys, wither you write it here in the comments or novel updates review or even on discord server, trust me I read it ALL~~~

Will post it this week, maybe Friday? idk but promise it will be out this week xDD *Fingers crossed*

Check out my new project ‘click here’!  It’s another Romance novel with a beautiful ml and a dazzling fl ✨ and a pinch of smut hahaha

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